WHY LOOKING BACK SETS YOU BACK

I don’t know why I just don’t like reminiscing the past, I guess it’s because it usually mellows down my current reality. However, this doesn’t mean that I would vouch for amnesia either. Memories have their benefits as they make and shape who we are. Having said that, however, if we keep replaying memories we are no better than a video or mp3 player. I like to believe that your mind should be attuned in a manner similar to live TV, making sure you don’t miss a moment.

When we decide to dwell on nice memories from the past, being human as we always are, we begin to have this phobia where we fear that we will never experience such memories again. When we are ruled by negative memories we become defined by a tragedy and we become the walking dead. Nostalgia should be grouped with regret in the same category, they are feelings that just make you sad for no reason.

A champion should never look at the past to reassure themselves of sure victory in pursuits of glory anew. The risk for a champion is they get over-confident with their pile of achievements. Staying hungry for more means ignoring looking back, it means focusing on your present regardless of everything.

Sometimes I think the Bible has a plethora of great lessons from which many of us can learn from. Don’t worry I am not a Sunday school teacher, but you have probably heard of the story of Lot’s wife. Well if not, the story goes that while Sodom and Gomorrah were being destroyed Lot and his household who had escaped the destruction were instructed by angels not to look back at the city. However, Lot’s wife couldn’t help herself but to look back, where she turned to a pillar of salt. This story lies in perfect symmetry with allegory of car headlights and hazard lights. A car at night has bright headlights with clear light at the front, however, the same cannot be said about hazard lights which are dull red at the back. Thus, at night carmakers know that the only direction you should be concerned with is where you are going not where you are from. Simply, I am saying don’t be too sentimental when it comes to days gone by, you still got today to get through. When the past makes you stutter start to think harder about your present. Life’s a journey and it needs you to focus on where you are more than where you were. Like focus on what you are reading on this blog, rather than what you read somewhere else. Be in sync with the moment completely and you will attain parity and peace.

In the game of love, moving on means progress. Defeatist thoughts like I won’t find another or no one else can be as good as so and so, will do you no good. The best way to move on is to roll with the punches, if you are quick to love than don’t be late to think, let’s just say it’s important. Go out but don’t settle on the next Tom, Dick and Harry just because you are hurt. One card you should never play is the, “I’ll sleep with your biggest nemesis so I can get back at you” card. A worse card still to play is “I’ll sleep with anyone” card. The past affects relationships as it means you approach each new love with suspicion and fear, instead of a little optimism to make the best out of new experiences.

Reliving the best memories should be what we strive for in the end. This basically means we should look to our memories to impart our present and our future. In the end the past is a lesson that we should learn from not lean to.

I don’t know how to say it so I’ll borrow words from Jay-Z, “May your best of todays be the worst of your tomorrows.”

So tell me are you still stuck up on the past, you haven’t moved on or have you just refused to move on? Share your experience drop a comment below.

Follow me on twitter @defactosanity, or check my about page if you want to know more about me.

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