Whether you live in a shack, high-rise apartment or suburban home, beware the noisy neighbours are out to get you.
In the West everyone starts out in a small apartment where they have little space to breath, and eventually, they work themselves to a suburban home or a mansion in the woods. Having taken a closer look at how people live in apartments as compared to how people live in shacks, I find there is a close resemblance of sort.
When you are leaving in close knit housing units, the first thing you say good bye to is privacy. Thus, if you have a lady over for the night, and she screams to the top of her lungs, expect grinning glances from your neighbours the next day. When you are on the receiving end of these proliferate moans and screams, it may not get you an A in that term paper you are working so hard on. Another example is when you have a bad case of food poisoning and your diarrhoea is making sure it voices itself vociferously.
Next we have the classic girl lives at the top apartment and is going on a date with a honking crazed maniac on the parking lot. Boy honks car, girl shouts out from her balcony, “I’ll be down in a minute!” Boy shouts “Well make it fast or will miss out on the show!” This goes back and forth for an hour. In the end they breakup and the girl decides she isn’t going at all. However, during the week they make up and the cruel cycle happens again to infinity. This unwarranted use of voice-boxes still happens today, with smartphones yet to quell human procrastination.
Now there are the Romeo and Juliet wannabes, where Romeo is a bad shot and breaks the window of an adjacent balcony. Romeo starts off with, “Oh Juliet how fair art thee beauty” Juliet replies, “Oh Romeo, art thee enamoured with your flowery words” It goes on and on, week in week out; these two love birds never get bored of each other. Thus, you have to be hiding from misfiring Romeo and a monotonous predictable conversation each week. By the way, after all these weeks Romeo hasn’t gotten into Juliet’s house definitely lame.
If you don’t get Romeo and Juliet then you will be unfortunate enough to get Ike and Tina Turner. This couple is just crazy, you will hear dishes being broken, curse words flying in the droves, and even lovemaking at its loudest. The funny thing they can fight over the same thing for weeks. I wonder if they like beating the crap out of each other, maybe they should join the WWE rooster. Whenever, you ask any of the two both wearing black eyes the next day why they are still together they’ll explain to you, “But I love him/her.” This are by far the nosiest neighbours to live with.
You have just moved in to a new suburban neighbourhood and the advert from the real estate agent said, “Own a piece of paradise.” You picture quiet sunsets and caring neighbours who are mindful of their own business. However, the first day you moved in, there was a street race, and they made it a point to knock down your mailbox and leave tyre trucks all over your lawn as if to say, “I was here.” The whole night you twist and turn, as drunken youth who are confronted with loud police sirens are on the loose. You thought by finally getting your own home you had escaped the madness of low rent apartment blocks.
Suburban neighbourhoods are notoriously boring, ask any teenager who lives there they will explain it to you amply. That is why, a party with punch, drugs and cacophony are so luring to teens. They will make each night about YOLO (You Only Live Once), I would prefer if they would take on YODO (You’re Only Dum Once). However, as much as they are looking for excitement it doesn’t help you sleep.
These are just some of the noisy neighbours I know of, which other types of noisy neighbours have you had the misfortune of encountering?
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